An All Girls Retreat and My Husband: Part 2

This post will not make much sense to you unless you've read part one which you can find here: Part One

So I left you off with the list I made of the qualities about my husband which I love.  I wanted to share more with you about what I learned from making this list and what changes I would like to make based on what I learned from this experience.  So here it goes.

When the newlywed phase of marriage ends and the real work begins, because marriage is definitely work and any married person will tell you that, it is really easy to get caught up in the things we want to change about our spouses.  The things we think we're better at.  The things we wish they would notice or care about that they don't.  Whatever it might be, married couples go through times where they are just annoyed with each other and both husband and wife probably have many thoughts beginning with: "if my husband/wife would just....".  I'm not trying to demean these type of issues by saying they happen to all of us.  The fact is they happen to most couples and they're normal, but just because they're normal doesn't mean they should go ignored.  Scott and I have been through all of these types things and plenty more.  If we hadn't talked about them and worked through them, I really don't think it would  be pretty.  I'm sure there will be patches of rough times again; there are bumps in the road of every relationship, that's just human nature.  They are not easy or fun times and often take some time to get through, but they are the ones in the end that make us stronger.

In moving forward here's what I would like to do a little differently.  First of all, keeping this list I have made fresh in my mind and not forgetting to thank God everyday for blessing me with a man with so many incredible qualities.  I am not only humbled, but blown away every time I go back and read this list.   So when I find myself complaining or feeling annoyed with Scott I'm going to try and stop for a moment and focus on the good instead of the bad and possibly cut the guy a break :)

My advice to really everyone is to make a list.  If you're not in a relationship make a list of qualities/standards that a person would have to have in order for the relationship to be healthy; and DON'T back off of your list.  Please don't be one of those people who thinks that you can't find a person who contains all of the qualities you not only want, but deserve.  Sometimes we want something so badly, we end up settling for less.  I can't imagine how hard it is to wait for something when it feels like you've already been waiting forever.  If that's you, I encourage you to continue being patient because settling will most likely lead to some pretty rough and unhappy times ahead which are just nor wort it.
(Side note: the qualities I'm referring to here are the big ones.  If a person doesn't like the same music as you, you might be able to work around that. If a person does not have the same ethical beliefs or standards as you, that's a bit different).

If you are married or in a relationship, both of you make a list of qualities that you love about your significant other.  Qualities that, if they were to change, it would cause a problem.  Share these lists with each other.  If you've never talked about it, they might not know how important some of these things are to you.  Not only can you take the time to be thankful for these things but the list can be helpful in the future when things are rocky.  I can think of times in our marriage where things were not the greatest. Not ever horrific but just those phases where we found ourselves bickering a lot or getting frustrated with one another really easily.  I would bet that if we had looked back out our lists at the time we would've found that either one or both of us was slacking in one of the qualities the other found really important.  I think if we are more aware of these qualities ahead of time we can be more aware of when we're not upholding them and we can work through them more effectively with our significant others.  It's a lot nicer to say, "hey, one of the things I love so much about you is that you have always been so respectful and lately I feel like you haven't been, what's going on?"  than yelling: "YOU'RE SO RUDE!"  (Been there! lol).

I'm not claiming that any of what I'm saying is going to be a cure or a fix for anyone.  I simply learned some things that I think will be really helpful for me and for my relationship with my husband and I really wanted to share it with the hope that it might help even just one more person.  I'm amazed at how much learning and growing there is in marriage no matter how long you've been together.  It keeps it interesting and fresh for sure!  Also I'm amazed and so thankful at how much God uses my time spent with high school kids to help me learn about Him and my own life.  Pretty awesome if you ask me.  Well that's it for now.  Thanks for reading!

An All Girls Retreat and My Husband!

Most of you probably know by now that one of my greatest passions is being involved in high school youth ministry.  God has definitely created a special place in my heart for teenagers; not only helping them to learn more about God but just to be able to walk along side them during a time in their lives that is often really really difficult and confusing.  I have worked in youth ministry for several years now and I have often wondered whether I would get sick of it or need a break after having children of my own, etc.  I have actually found that it is the exact opposite.  As I grow older and I gain more life experiences, I find God growing that passion inside me even more as I want to share the things I have learned, the mistakes I have made and the ways God is so present in my life, with others; especially kids.  Not to mention, I probably learn way more from them than they will ever learn from me.  I constantly find myself becoming more aware of what I can do to be a better Christian, a better parent (lots of tips for my future teen parenting days!), a better friend, and even a better wife, which brings me to something I wanted share.

A couple of weekends ago I had the opportunity to head down to Lake Pickwick with about 40 girls for what would be one of the most amazing youth retreats I have ever been a part of.  It was great for all of us to sit around, in sweats and comfy clothes almost the whole time, eat lots of food, laugh and just relax.  I love being in that type of atmosphere because it definitely allows (at least for me) for conversations to just feel more open and more comfortable.  Over the course of the weekend we covered a lot of tough topics such as self image, insecurity, sex, relationships, etc.  We gave each of the girls a journal to write notes over the course of the weekend and one of the very first things we had them do was make a list of qualities they wanted in a future husband.  At the end of the retreat we allowed them to make changes to the list, add or remove things so that the list was less of a wish list but more a compilation of standards; qualities that a guy HAS to have in order for them to be in a relationship with them.  Since I am already married, I decided to make a list called "qualities I love about my husband that CAN'T change" I was kind of being funny and really half serious when I first wrote that title.  It thought it would be fun to share some of them with the girls,  but as I started writing qualities I found myself really in awe.  It was as if I couldn't stop writing amazing things about my husband.  I've always known that I have been so blessed to be married to Scott,  But something about this little exercise really brought some humbling perspective and gratefulness as to what a gift God has given me in my husband.   Here are a few of the things I wrote:

-Loves God more than he loves me
-Is my best friend
-Is a gentleman/very respectful to others
-Holds high morals
-Is a hard worker and provider
-He respects me in the way that, while we can have conversations about whether we think another person might be attractive, I've never once seen him look at or make a comment about another woman in way that would make me feel jealous or uncomfortable.  He even changes the channel if a Victoria's Secret commercial comes on TV :) 
-Humble
-Makes me feel safe
-We laugh a lot together
-Appreciates me and lets me know it
-Can still talk for hours
-Encourages me and supports me in anything I do
-Admits when he's wrongs and apologizes...most of the time ;)
-Has always made me feel beautiful
-Amazing father
-Recognized faults and strives to be a better person/man

So this might seem like a brag list or something but that's not where I'm going with this.  I don't even think I recognized some of these things until I wrote them down.  Of course I knew them, but it's just different when you sit there and can see all of these amazing things in front of you.  To be honest, I was slightly overwhelmed and even brought to tears later on when reading it.   I mean if someone showed me this list when I was in high school and said, this is what your husband will be like, I don't think I would have believed them!

I'm going to stop there for now but there will be a continuation of this post soon.  I would love to share with you what I was able to learn and take away from this experience and how I personally plan on making some changes based on this experience.  Also, would like to share how making this list, whether in a relationship or not, could be beneficial to anyone. So stay tuned for part 2!

Best Date Ever

Persson and I usually get together with a group of friends on Wednesdays after church for lunch and some playtime with other kids, but yesterday our plans got cancelled and so we just headed home.  As I was driving  Persson was in the back seat asking if we could go to "Donald's" for chicken nuggets and fries.  I felt bad because he never ever asks to go there and plus I knew he was bummed that our plans had been cancelled so I told him we could go but that it would just be him and me.  Of course, I tried to make it special and told him it would be a "Mommy date".  He didn't know what that even meant but he got all excited as he could hear in my tone of voice that a "Mommy date" was something special.  As we were walking in the parking lot I said "come on date!"  and he responded defensively : "I'm not a date!"  (haha, I love him!) I explained to him a date was when two people went somewhere special just the two of them.  That's all I said, and from there on out he became the best date ever.  We sat down and he offered to share his french fries with me.  Even when I said no thank you, he insisted and shoved that french fry in my mouth!  This is a big deal by the way for a boy who struggles with the concept of sharing, let alone parting with his Donald's fries.  He got up from his side of the booth and said "I sit by you Mumma??"  So he sat with me and we ate and took goofy pictures on my phone together and he said silly things that made me laugh which in turn cracked him up; he loves to make me laugh :)   Best of all, at one point he wrapped both of his arms around my neck, gave me a big long squeeze and said "I wuv you".  I could have just stayed there in that moment forever, he was so sweet and so cute.  I plan on continuing the "Mommy dates" as long as he'll let me :)

So is it me, or should guys be coming to my 3 year old for advice on dating?  He's pretty good.  Of course he could be a player whose just using his skills to get Happy Meals out of me, but I'm thinking he was pretty sincere ;)

btw my favorite candy is Raisinets...that could be important to someone reading this :)

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, I used to blog fairly often.  I kind of miss it so here's to giving it a go again.  Last year I did a theme for each day of the week and I just might do something like that again but still thinking on it.  So for now here are few things that have changed since I was last blogging.  These are in no order of importance.

1. I now have a 3 year old.  Weird!  Wasn't he like 8 months old about a week ago?  Time sure is flying.  Persson turned 3 in the beginning of January and when he did it was like a switch turned on inside of him.  He's well aware of his threeness and as sweet as he is most of the time, he definitely makes sure he tests us here and there with his new found 3 year old wisdom.  Although, even when he's being super fresh, we have a hard time holding our smiles and laughs.  He's just so hard to get mad at!  He's got me wrapped for sure.

2. I'm totally pregnant, oh and half way till due date might I add!  Officially 20 weeks yesterday.  Had the big ultrasound last week and got a very healthy report for little Baby Bales.  There is nothing better than seeing your little baby float around that screen and see its little heart beating so fast.  Simply amazing.  For all those planners out there, sorry, we did not find out the sex.  To me there could be no better surprise in the world and so a surprise it will be :)   What will we do with the baby room?!  How will we prepare?!  No worries friends, it will be okay; I promise.

3. As of early this past Fall, I am now an iPhone user.  Why is this a big deal?  Well it's not, but I just love it so I thought I'd mention it. Future blog on my favorite apps will definitely happen.

4. I have a new niece!  My twin sister, Krista, and my brother in law, Steve, added baby girl to the mix in September making them a family of 5!  Little Tessa is as beautiful and squeezable as can be.  I guess little would really be the wrong term, she is actually a little chunk making her even more ridiculously cute!  Her two big brothers are in love with her...good luck to any boy trying to catch a date with her in about 15 years!

5. Starting on January 1st, a friend of mine and I decided to attempt reading the Bible from cover to cover in 90 days.  There's a phone app you can get called YouVersion which offers a bunch of different Bible reading plans and this was one of them.  I've read through most of the Bible but never from cover to cover like this.  Those first couple of books were a little tough.  All those genealogies and lists were not necessarily exciting, but aside from that I have to say that I'm actually really enjoying it.  It's intense and I feel like I'm learning so much and growing closer in my relationship with God at the same time.  Also fun to have a friend reading with me at the same time so we can chat about it and bounce thoughts and questions off of each other.

I'm thinking that's just about enough for now, but more coming soon!  Thanks for reading and hope you have a great day!

Recent Song Obsession

I've been meaning to blog about this one song I've been kind of obsessed with lately.  Do you ever do that?  Get obsessed with one song or artist and for days or even weeks you just can't seem to get enough of it?  I always seem to be going through a music phase.  I listen to a few different things for a really long time, then move to something else.  I tend to really love music that is less mainstream.  It seems that artists who are not so famous have this passion and humility in their music and in their lyrics which seems to becoming more rare these days.  I'm really getting sick of turning on the radio and hearing yet another song about dancing in a club, hooking up or getting tipsy.  Don't get me wrong, I'll be the first one to bust a move and sing along (attempt anyway) when a trendy song comes on, but when it comes to really listening to  music, the radio is not usually my first choice.

Okay, that being said, I thought I would share with you an artist who has been in my music library for quite some time.  Her name is Miranda Stone and unfortunately you won't find her music anywhere (if you do please inform me!) other than on her website, which is outdated, or Youtube.  I'm not sure if she's still recording because I can't seem to find much on her anywhere. This is why I'm so glad I purchased a CD when I did have the chance to hear her.  I recently found the CD in an old box and added it to my iTunes library.  I've been on a Miranda kick ever since.  Miranda's music is raw and gritty and sort of folk rockish; if that makes any sense!  Most of all, her lyrics are unique and genius.  She is a Christian, however her music is not "worship music" or something you would hear in church; however, her faith definitely plays a huge part in her songwriting. The song I'm going to share with you is called Seven Deadly Sins.  Miranda sings about  growing up and some of the trials that come along with coming into our own.  By the end of the song I'm always left feeling hopeful and even a little empowered; maybe that's why I like listening to it so much!  As a woman, this song really hit home for me as I think it might for most females.  I would love to hear your thoughts.  The lyrics are below the video if you want to check them out.  Also, I'm always looking for great new music to listen to, so if you're like me and you like to listen to the "great unknowns" shoot me some names of your favorites so I can check them out.

Before bras and boys and periods
Oh the summers we would have,
Running everywhere with our shirts torn off,
Making all the neighbors mad
I was gangly like a corn stalk
With a monster list of plans,
And that was my life before seventeen
And I spun my wheels in the sand

But then the boys could suddenly wound you
Till you bled without trying
And the girls could suddenly wound you
Cause were experts at lying
And you found out how to act hard and
the secret spots to cry in and
my hips grew in
In the year of the seven deadly sins

These clever things that we learn when we get older
When every wicked thing we do can make us bolder
How to steer a conversation, how to swallow our libations
Till even warmer smiles can make us colder
So I drove south like a ghost into Georgia
Singing "Lonely One" with Mr. Gibbons, feeling
Always disappointed, though the word has been anointed,
My little faith feels always cut to ribbons

Cause the boys will suddenly wound you
Till you bleed without trying
And the girls will suddenly wound you
Cause they're experts at lying
And you found out how to act hard and
the secret spots to cry in and
my lips begin
another year of the seven deadly sins

But today is going to be different
You can stop the leak when you know where the hole is
Cause a thousand yesterdays have kicked the crap right out of me
But today I'm going to throw a few of my own punches
I'm gonna drink from the living water
I'm gonna eat from the broken bread
And the day I finally get into heaven
Ends the war between my heart and my head

Cause the boys will suddenly sing
Till you see without trying
And the girls will suddenly bring
A little mercy for the dying
And you'll find out how to give love
the secret spots to shine in and
my lips will grin and say goodbye
to the seven deadly sins
say goodbye to the seven deadly sins
the seven deadly sins

I Miss Blogging

So I've decided that I really miss blogging.  I think about it quite often actually.  I'll be doing something and I'll think of some random thought or story that couldn't be explained in a mere Facebook update and I'll have every intention of sitting down and writing a blog post, but time flies by and it just doesn't happen.  For a while there I was blogging a lot and it was really fun, but I don't think my blogging days are over just yet. So here's to getting back to blogging.

I'm not even going to try and do an update on life since, when was my last blog, February or something?  I will give you one amazing update though.  Persson is 99.9% potty trained!  The .1% will be fulfilled when he doesn't have to wear a diaper to bed but other than that, woo hoo!  I really am so proud of how well he's done and so very thankful that it wasn't the horrible process I had sort of anticipated.  Well I could talk about Persson forever, he's doing so many new things lately.  Talking up a storm and really just developing his own little personality.  I think I might have to dedicate one whole blog post to him in the near future but for now I'll tell you that one my favorite new things that he does is pick up a book or a piece of paper, like a receipt or something and act like he's reading it.  He'll say a few words having to do with whatever it is he's looking at and he ends off, every time, saying "nine, ten!".  Then he looks up at me with this proud yet at the same time very shy smile.  Hoping to catch this on video soon so I can share.

So Scott and I have decided to jump on the P90x bandwagon.  Scott started a few weeks ago and I just started last week.  The program intends for you to work out I think 6 times a week and the workouts are about an hour each.  This was a little much for us right now so we're just doing it about 4 times a week.  The workouts are pretty intense.  The day after my first workout my arms hurt so bad I could barely lift the apple juice out of the fridge to get Per a drink, haha.  It's been a while since I've worked out :)  Anyway, they give you these 30 second breaks to get water and I'm like, man they need to make a special version of this for moms who have try and watch their kids at the same time.  Forget water, I need breaks to grab freeze pops (the distractor snack) and to wipe poop off of the toilet seat after my newly independent son tries to go all by himself!  However, to his credit, when Persson is being a good boy sitting there watching me with his freeze pop, he is my biggest fan.  He laughs at me when I'm looking silly (basically the whole time),and he cheers "GO MUMMA!"  I love it. Sometimes he tries joining in too which is hilarious.  See below :)

Well, other than those two earth shatter things, there's nothing real major to report.  The past few months have been pretty busy and so I'm excited to have some summer downtime.  I'm looking forward to hanging out with kids from youth group and just spending time with Scott and Persson.  I'm really psyched about this coming weekend.  We live on a culdesac and I guess every year all the neighbors on my street have this big 4th of July cove party that lasts the whole day and through the night with food and fireworks and all that jazz.  All of our neighbors seem really nice and we get to chat with them here and there when we're outside, but I'm looking forward to just hanging out with them and getting to know them a little better. Mostly everyone has young children too so it will be great for Per as well.  

Well that's that.  More blogs to come soon.  Wondering if I should go back to the daily theme or simply just jot down what's on my mind.  What do you think?  

I Heart Faces: Best Face in February

This week's challenge at iheartfaces was to pick our best photo (with a face!) from February.  Of course I'm a little bias since I am his mom, but still I'm kind of in love with this picture :)  Definitely one of my favorites from February.

Don't forget to check out more fabulous February photos at www.iheartfaces.com !!!